Yesterday marked 7 months since Warner went to be with Jesus. I've reflected a lot on his little life the last few days and have come to a few conclusions.
One: every life matters. No matter how seemingly small or short, it matters.
Two: the Lord used this seemingly small life to provide a big purpose. And, that was to save my own life. And, my family's as well.
It doesn't matter what Satan means for bad, God will always turn it for good for those that love Him. I've never blamed God for my son's death. EVER.
And, quite frankly, I'm always a little surprised that people are surprised at me for not blaming Him. Have we all forgotten who our war is against in this life? It's not the One that created life, it's the one that prowls around to destroy it.
So often we put the blame in the wrong place when something bad happens. We look at God as a "taker" and not a "giver". The Lord revealed that in depth of my heart, I believed Him to be a taker rather than a giver while I was pregnant and fighting for Warner's life. Those days of repentance and healing were precious to my heart.
Jesus has chosen to use my son's death, what the enemy meant for evil, and use it to bring an ultimate good in our family's life. My son's labor, delivery, life and death were a poignant time in my life where the veil between earth and Heaven got a little thinner. And, now, 7 months after, I'm experiencing Jesus in a way I haven't in my entire life. I never knew I wasn't walking in full freedom until now.
And, Jesus used my son to change the course of my family's life forever. I will never, ever be able to repay Jesus for what He's done for me. But, I will spend the rest of my life thanking Him for the gifts He never had to give