Grace Poured Out

Most days I feel overwhelmed with the tasks at hand. Most days I question if I can really be the wife and mom that I so desperately want to be for my family. Most days the enemy finds a way to attack my resolve to stand in the gap for my family. Some days I foolishly let him win, and some days I refuse to let him think he has a chance with my family through the great power of the Holy Spirit. 

Then, I have a day like today. A day where the only thing I am overwhelmed with is the grace that God chose me. ME. to be in this family. He chose ME to be the wife of the most amazing man I've ever known. He chose ME to be the mom to a baby in heaven and two precious little girls. It's a beautiful gift and I get to do it. Not anyone else in the whole world gets to be John's wife or these babies mom. 

I come from a broken family. My two main adult influences growing up were my mom and grandmother. Both single women. One from divorce and the other separated by death. I didn't grow up learning Bible verses or about how much God loved me. I don't have any siblings so I have no personal experience regarding Ella and Charlotte's relationship. The list can continue and grow more detailed, but you get the idea. 

Some days the enemy tries to trick me into believing that I have a long list of things that disqualify me from being the prayer warrior wife and mom that is my heart's desire. 

But, today? No, he doesn't get to whisper those lies to me today. Instead, I am choosing to be amazingly overwhelmed with God's grace that He chose me to be the wife and mom in this family. He chose me with all of my junk, my shortcomings, my failures, and my sin. 

I don't deserve to be John's wife and receive the most meaningful, fairy tale style love I've ever had, outside of my relationship with God. I don't deserve to be the one to show TWO daughters how to love the Lord and grow up to be women that bless others. 

But, regardless of what I do or don't deserve, I will spend the rest of my days crying out to the One that lavished this type of grace over my life. May He be glorified through me and the most beautiful family I could have ever dreamed!