Due Date

I knew that eventually May 1st would roll around. I also knew that after Christmas, it would be the next big hurdle to get through. And, here we are, the day before the due date that back in August I thought seemed like a million years away.

To put it lightly, today has been rough. I found myself crying my eyes out in random parking lots around town as I was trying to get my list of errands done today. I felt so bad for myself, I splurged and bought myself a pink Snuggie. And, some Rasinets. Take that sadness.

There have been a lot of tears this last week over our first lost baby. It's funny how I used to think that if a woman just got pregnant again, she would be completely healed about a miscarriage. And, truthfully for some women, that may very well be the case, but it definitely hasn't been for me. Our current pregnancy has brought healing of the wondering if we would ever be able to hold a pregnancy past the first trimester. But, this baby, in no way, has replaced our first one.

Leaving our apartment last week, to head to our new home in Georgia, was way more difficult than I thought it would be. And, the biggest hurt was that I felt like we were leaving our first baby behind. See, we don't have much that's physical to remember that baby. And, that apartment was where I took the tests that told me we were expecting. It was the place that John and I dreamed about what that baby would be like. It was where I couldn't stop crying and holding my belly the night that we found out our baby was gone. It was where my contractions started the night before my surgery and I had our baby. It was where I recovered from the surgery and questioned if life would ever be the same. It was the place we lit our candle and read Scripture to remember the baby God gave us.

I cried and cried and cried the day we left our apartment. I actually made us leave several hours later than planned that day because I felt that first baby slipping away all over again.

And, now, here I am today, the day before our due date. This is tough. It's tougher than I thought it would be just a month or two ago. I laid on the floor in our current baby's room today with our first baby's scrapbook and cried at first. Then, looking through the unfinished scrapbook, there was a peace. Man, we loved that baby. And, I think Jesus knows that. Plus, God has given us a new baby to share in all of that love. A new baby that God has at least given us 20.5 weeks with while we pray for many more weeks, months, and years.

If you read this tonight or tomorrow (or any day!) do you mind tossing up a prayer for us? Tomorrow is going to be a tough day and we are trying to find a good balance of mourning, remembrance, and a continuance of life for the day. Also, it'll be John's first weekend at the services at Dogwood church as the Tech Director, which includes the Saturday night service. So, we want to be ready and willing to invest in people tomorrow night. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

So...We...Are...Gonna....Be....

GEORGIANS!!!!

It's true, we're moving! No one can ever blame us for having boring lives, that's for sure. This time last year, we were engaged and planning a wedding on a shoestring budget (which was debt-free and came out beautifully, if I do say so myself). Since then, we've gotten married, got pregnant 3 weeks after wedding, lost a baby 10 weeks after that, got pregnant again 2 months after that, now John is transitioning to a new job in a totally new state!! Phew, are you as tired as I am??

After lots of prayer, excitement, and tears, we really believe that the Lord is leading us to Peachtree City, Georgia where John is accepting the Tech Director position at Dogwood Church. The church (which we will be living nearby) is about 15 or so minutes from the Atlanta airport and about 25 minutes from downtown Atlanta.

John's last day at First Baptist Orlando will be on April 16th and we plan to move that weekend or the beginning of that next week. The timing has all moved pretty quick as Dogwood is needing John to start soon. It's all very exciting, but we are also sad to leave a church that we have loved dearly. First Orlando was where my walk with Jesus became not just something I talked about, but learned how to live out. It is also the place where I met the husband I learned how to pray for during my youth group days. It is where my husband asked me to marry him. It is where we stood before a room of witnesses and made a marriage covenant before the Lord. It is where I told him that we were expecting our first baby. The church staff and all of the precious people that make up the church have been nothing short of a blessing for the both of us. We have shed many tears over leaving a church that we absolutely adore.

But, the Lord is growing us and stirring an excitement in us for what's to come. We had no idea that the beginning of our marriage would have so many things going on, so who in the world could guess what's on the horizon! I am really excited about what ministry opportunities lay ahead for the both of us. And, I really do believe it's going to be full of lots of great things. The Lord has given us both a better understanding of local missions over the last year and we are super pumped to see how that translates in our new city.

All of you Orlando folk, we love you and are going to miss you more than I could possibly begin to type in a silly blog. We have a guest room that is crying out for you to come visit us!! Also, we will definitely be back sometime in June for a baby shower (yay! maybe I'll have a belly by then?!) and in November with the babe. With Orlando being my hometown, we will definitely still be around and anxious to see all of you!

Love you all so much! Please be praying for us as we get ready to pack up and move! The transitions that specifically could use some prayer:

--We are finalizing which (out of two) houses we are going to rent. 

--I still haven't found an OB/GYN, I am pretty anxious about this because we are leaving a doctor's office we love here

--That my body can withstand all of the physical stress that comes with moving, I am quite the sickly woman these days and don't want to get too overworked!

--For John to work well with his new fellow staff members

--For the both of us to find friendships that are truly ordained from the Lord quickly!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Please comment on here if there is anything we can pray about!

Baby Update!

I am the worst blogger in the world. I always mean to update and then never get to it. My excuse this time around is that I usually feel in a bloggy mood at night. Well, usually I want to throw up like a mad woman in the evenings. Well, and in the morning. Well, hmm, I guess during the day, too. Eh, you get the idea...

But, I did want to update you on our last doctor's appointment! It was last Tuesday (on the 23rd). I was 15weeks 1day. The baby still had a strong heartbeat, which was in the low 150's. And, I was up a little weight! I was still under my pre-pregnancy weight, but up from before. Which, that is very good news and I am glad to be at the point where the excessive vomiting appears to be over. I never knew I would get to the point where a little puke doesn't bother me because overall I am able to keep enough food down. Um, perspective change, much??

Also, I have been feeling some movement, flutters (totally never understood that as a description until it happened!) and sometimes it feels like the baby is popping some popcorn in my uterus :o) I love the little movements. And, as much as I can't wait for them to be strong enough for John to feel it from the outside, I am totally loving my exclusive one-on-one time with the small human being that has been the source of my sickness for so long, hehe. How could a cute little baby that "flutters" wreak so much havoc on my body? But, those little flutters and popcorn make it all worth it!

We have been praying over our beautiful baby every day. And, I have finally gotten my act together a little more (thank you, Jesus again for the excessive yuckiness being over!). Therefore, I have been able to really pray the Scripture verses that John and I picked for our children over this precious baby. What a sweet time to feel little kicks as I pray Scripture for our baby to answer God's call on his or her life. I have always loved praying verses over my husband and am now loving to pray for our baby.

Sometime this week we will finally upload our ultrasound picture from week 8! The baby just looks like a cute little blob. But, it's our little blob :o)